Our resident catwomanizer, Andrea Gunawan, is back at it this Friday with another installment of SweetLove with Andrea. She's taking on a hard topic today and answering questions that is on many minds, but left unexpressed, perhaps due to pressure in society. Let's open our eyes to the testimonies that is given by people with hearts open enough to share.
Take it away, Andrea!
Hi everyone, It's becoming more and more common for women in relationships to out-earn their husbands or boyfriends. While we’d like to believe that bringing home a big, fat paycheck is not that big of a deal, making more money than your spouse does flip traditional gender dynamics on their ear. And that can make some men feel kind of awkward. Though, that's not always the case. Straight marriages were inherently transactional for much of human history. Women often chose or were forced to marry whoever had the best financial prospects, at which point they became the literal property of their husbands. This was, of course, wildly unfair and sexist. It also placed pressure on men to be providers, and largely reduced their social worth to their financial success. To get a feel of what women really think about raking in more money than their spouse, we asked some of them who've been there and done that to open up.
Here are their takes:
“I worked for the government and my boyfriend at the time was a cameraman at a TV station where he made half than what I did. It was fine in the beginning, we often split bills, we even had a joint savings account. But then he started drifting apart and cheated on me. And when I asked him, he said I was too high-class for him, that I out-earned him too much. What a lame excuse.”
“I out-earned my now husband ever since we were dating until we got married. He made even less than half of what I did, but my parents always taught me I should let my man lead and that I should always respect him. So that’s what I always tell him, that I respect him not for how much he makes, but how he treats me, because I believe God blesses us differently. I keep praying and supporting him, and thankfully, now he makes pretty much the same as I do, even more because of his side business!”
“The first time I knew my boyfriend, he made a lot less than I did, but I didn’t mind because I knew he’s smart and he always wanted to improve himself. Thankfully, he took it as a challenge and was so motivated to earn more instead of feeling insecure about it. And now he’s doing really well at work and earns a lot more than I do! I’m so proud of him.”
“My dad has retired so my mom is the breadwinner. My mom takes care of all the expenses at home and my dad’s retirement money takes care of his own car. I could tell my dad sometimes feels sad because he could no longer support the family financially, he even tried to find a job, but he’s old so we told him to stay at home. And mom told him to keep praying so that God continues to bless our family through her. Ever since he retired, I feel he’s become more frugal and always reminds the kids to prioritize our spending. And even when he’s no longer able to support our family financially, he makes up for it by doing a lot of Acts of Service: he takes mom to work and picks her up after, he accompanies mom when she’s busy working on her assignment until late at night, takes us to the campus in the morning, even makes breakfast for us. My parents are the best!”
“I earn more than my current partner and that’s fine by us, because we are committed to not make this a big deal. And I support him and pray for him so he stays motivated to work harder. I also respect him by asking for his opinions every time I want to buy something with my own money, so he knows his opinions matter to me. And I tell myself I will never underestimate him because maybe right now God blesses me more financially, but who knows? Everything could change in an instant. What matters to us now is that we respect and love each other.”
SweetEscape is an on demand photography platform. Tired of hearing the overused new year, new me slogan from your circle of friends and acquaintances? Believe it or not... we are too! It's great and all in the sense that people would like to change within the new year (hopefully) for the better. But think about it, why wait for the new year to improve yourself as a person? At least, SweetEscape would like to (if we may) propose that improving, re-vamping and enhancing yourselves shouldn't be a yearly thing - if anything, it should be an everyday thing! "What? Are you serious?" You're probably asking. Life is short, escapists, and it's definitely too short to not make any changes in our lives so that we better ourselves for others as well. With that said, here are 5 things that you could do before the year finally ends:
As humans, we don't stop growing throughout our lifetime. The things we enjoyed doing when we were younger may differ from the things we now enjoy, and that's because we don't get any younger. Perhaps you adored your toy/figurine collection when you were in your teens, and was your number 1 prized collection in your entire room. Or maybe, you were the type to hang posters of your favorite bands and role models on the walls of your room, much like that of a late 80's or early 90's teen bedroom. Surely you've gone a long way from there, and if you haven't transformed your room that much... now is the perfect time to do so! Rearrange your furniture, or maybe even Feng shui it up - it won't hurt! You'll feel a thousand times better in a freshly organized room.
A whole year is a long time, 365 days long to be exact. When the same clothes are worn repetitively even over a period of 1 year, they can still become over-worn if worn too often. It's now time for you to, if not get a whole entire new wardrobe, re-vamp your closet and outfits. Do your clothes still fit properly? Are they still wearable in the times ahead? Can you still see yourself wearing your current outfits? If you answered no to all or most of them, then chances are that you need to toss them in the bin and purchase new ones. For future reference, go shopping for clothes that are more durable and timeless - that way, you wouldn't need to re-vamp your closet too often (hopefully). If your closet is mostly filled with bright and youthful colors, then try to balance it out by adding more neutral colors to your collection of items.
Have a careful look of your belongings, and recall whether were personally purchased or given by a certain person in the past. Perhaps you were in a committed relationship that just didn't last, and that's totally fine! People grow together while some just grow apart instead. In the case that you still have those belongings from your previous partner, or simply any item that brings back memories of your time together - let those items go and head on to a new chapter of your life. It could also be items that remind you of a certain time way back when, and perhaps you were a lot happier then than you are now. Having those items could really make you stuck in the past and eventually hinder you from moving forward. You wouldn't want that, would you? SweetEscape believes in you!
One of the most important things people tend to forget, is to pause for a moment and reflect upon what they have received in life. Often times we would forget about the things we have in life, and even the little things that matter are often missed. We don't blame you, life can get really tough at times... and during those times it's especially hard to sit back and be thankful for perhaps anything. Clear your mind and start from the smaller things. Do you have a roof over your head? Put aside the fact that your toilet is often clogged, or that your wooden floor is not the kind of wood that you prefer. Be thankful that you actually have a home - be thankful you aren't homeless! Do you have access to enough food and water on a daily basis? Then that's another simple thing to be thankful about. Remember, start with the little things. You'll be surprised as to how fortunate you are compared to many lives out there.
For as long as we're living on this planet, we will be making human errors - and it's inevitable. Mistakes aren't bad because you're expected to make them to be able to grow as a person. The more mistakes you made, the more you learn to avoid repeating the same mistakes again. If you have siblings, you probably have memories of their toddler days. Babies are curious beings, and chances are that you and your siblings were as well. Perhaps your parents told your kid sibling to not touch fire, but as expected, they did anyway. What happened next? Your sibling screamed in shock and pain, and your parents would give them the "I told you so" reaction. After this incident, we would like to believe that your sibling never repeated that same mistake again.
Growing up is hard, we'll give you that. But adult-ing is even harder! Think about it, first it's the school, then your first job, afterwards fall in love with your special someone, but you forgot to learn about taxes, then you'd have to learn about taxes, and don't forget the bills - electricity, water, and your groceries. We're not even half way done listing all of the adult-ing activities, but you generally get the idea. Since adults live such stressful lives, it's necessary for them to relieve from stress, de-stress and escape from the usual burden-some routine. Not to mention, adult lives seem to attract so much nuisance and irritating people almost on a day-to-day basis. For you and yourself alone, you should remember to take some time for yourself. In this case, we suggest for you to take a solo trip somewhere nice and serene where you can be free of all of your worldly problems for just a little while. It'll help you refresh your mood before the end of the year and beginning of a new year.
Last but not least (pay very close attention to this one) is you should release all feelings of anger, grudges and resentment towards anyone who have wronged you. It ain't easy, we know! But the thing is, having all of those pent up negative emotions are far from good for your mind, body and soul. You might not realize it now, but you'll slowly start to see how everything unravels as you prolong those feelings within you. If you'd like to let go of those negative feelings, try activities such as yoga and mediation. They're highly beneficial for your well being. If that happens to not be your cup of tea, then you could start a journal of all the things you feel. Trace it back, and find out why you feel those things. Once through, ask yourself, "Is all of this anger worth my time and energy?". Chances are, the person whom you have pent up emotions towards have long forgotten about their bad deeds to you, so why waste your time? They too, will get their taste of life later on. Life is short, don't waste it on negativity!
Doing something special before the year ends? Whether it’s a little solo trip somewhere beautiful, or as simple as spending some time with those in need, book a session with SweetEscape to capture those memories for you. SweetEscape connects you to thousands of local professional photographers in more than 500 cities around the world, so you can capture every moment and get beautiful photos directly to your devices in just 48 hours after your session. This holiday season, capture more with SweetEscape's JINGLE DEALS, where you can get sessions starting as low as USD 50! Download our app, book your session today and let's #MakeLifeMemorable!